80’s Girls Are Now Mothers!

Here’s a scary thought for you to ponder: Remember those crazy kids of the 80’s? The ones who were brought up on the eye candy of Bon Jovi and RainbowBrite and who had ungodly amounts of neon in their closets? Well, guess what? Those same crazy kids of the yesteryears are steadily turning into the responsible lunch-money-giving mothers and fathers of today.

It’s true.

Those who once carefully rolled their socks into bright, happy ankle rainbows are now the very same ones pulling the socks onto the tiny feet of the generation to follow. And those who once took the time to painstakingly crimp every strand of hair before stepping out the door in the mornings (WHY, GOD?) are now the ones styling those mini-mohawks on the unsuspecting infants in baby slings all across America.

How did this happen? What does this mean? And how is this new generation of parents different than the ones that preceded it?

I became a mother when I was 22 years old. My husband and I actually did this on purpose. We had our reasons for wanting to start a family so young, and I’m pretty sure they were good ones, but I can’t think of them right now. When my son was born, I knew some things were going to be different in the way he was raised compared to the way that I was raised. This feeling is natural and healthy, and every new mother feels it to some degree. A few of these lofty ideals of mine, however, were made entirely of a poo-like substance. Like the “NO TV EVER” rule that I so nobly meant to enforce. Do you want to know how long that rule lasted? 30 seconds. Lots of my good intentions went flying out the window when I realized that the baby was actually coming home with us, as in, home to our house when we left the hospital after he was born. Shock number two? None of the nursing staff were coming with us.

In my experience as a young mother since then, I’ve found this new up-and-coming generation of parents to have two important distinguishing factors:

1. It has a fierce longing for community, and;
2. It has a growing disdain for fear-based living.

You are more likely to find those 600 page “Your Baby Should Totally Be Doing This By Now” books by Dr. What’s-His-Face propping up the wobbly leg of our coffee tables than sitting, creased and dog-eared, on our nightstands. And you are more likely to find those wobbly coffee tables in our homes because the ‘American Dream’ of white picket fences and comfortable, excessive living sounds, to us, more like something to be wary of than something to achieve or aspire toward.

We young parents today have a strong pull towards the ‘diving-in headlong and figuring things out as we go’ approach, and this approach leaves no room for us to operate out of fear. It requires blind trust and a belief that the One who is guiding us is actually in control of all things. It requires us to listen to the gut instincts that God gave us to help light the way. This obviously isn’t the most graceful, glossy way to go about things, but the mistakes become learning experiences and the unknowns become opportunities to sharpen our faith. It’s adventuresome parenting at its best. At the same time, we know that this method will not be successful without a strong support system in place to hold each other up and to hold the pieces together when they start to crumble around the edges.

Community. It’s more important to us than saving face and looking like we have any clue as to what we’re doing. Because we don’t. And that’s the beauty of it all! We may show up at church on Sunday with disheveled hair and wearing two different shoes on our feet, but at least we know that we’ve got ample help and support to turn to when we need it most. This community is absolutely necessary and can be found in any number of places. It can be found at churches, at Yoga classes, at the park down the street, or in the checkout line at the local Wal-Mart. No matter where we find it, we recognize the need for it and we cling to it like it’s late December of 1996 again and we’re inches away from the last Tickle-Me-Elmo doll on the shelf at Toys-R-Us. You want the doll? Over. My. Dead. Body.

So, how will these differences affect the next generation? Will the next generation be less inclined to materialism than we? Will they take more risks? Will they more naturally gravitate towards community? I can’t say for sure. I’m not a prognosticator. I’m a stay-at-home-mom with crusty graham cracker goo on the left sleeve of my shirt. But this I do know for sure: parenting is tough. It’s hard work and no two days are alike. But in choosing to stick together and remain open to God’s leading in raising our little ones, we are allowing Him to raise them through us in His love.

Simple as that.

As a result, the pressure to be mega super-moms and super-dads vanishes, and Martha Stewart has to start scanning the local ‘Help Wanted’ pages for a new job. We’re finally set free to be ourselves as parents, and that allows our kids to be themselves as well. No matter what that may look like. That’s a great starting point for this whole new generation of kids. It’s the very best gift we can ever give them.

(That, and maybe a 60GB Playstation3 with Bluetooth wireless gaming capabilities.)