Hooray for Legalism!
Dear Legalism,
Thank you for making my life easier. Boy, do I owe you one. Had I never met you, I would have been forced to thoughtfully engage people and their opinions and beliefs at every turn. But after reading your book, How to Think and What to Say You Believe, I always seem to have an answer for them. What a great book!
I have been seeking ways to try and simplify my life, and what your book showed me was that I needed to instead simplify my mind.
And it was so affordable too! All it cost was a regular monthly installment of any independently formulated thought I might have for as long as I live. It’s practically free!
Just the other day this guy at my work invited me to go and share a beer with him. Before reading your book I would have been bogged down with worries like, “I’d better be careful and drink responsibly.” But thanks to your book I got to tell my friend that I would not share a beer with him because I am a Christian, and I didn’t want to suffer an eternity of damnation and torment in hell-fires with him. Then I smiled and said I loved him and would be praying for him.
Everyone knows that alcoholism is an ugly destructive force in our world. Your book goes so far as to say that everyone who drinks beer or whatever also likes alcoholism and thinks it is good, and wants their kids to become alcoholics and drive drunk too.
Thanks legalism.
Thanks to you, I know that all pleasures are off limits. Since raging, irresponsible indulgence in pleasure can be just as destructive as wildfire, you showed me that enjoying pleasure responsibly is still playing with fire, and would be just as destructive to society as using fire responsibly.
So does that mean that fire is evil too? The book only references fire as a destination for people who disagree with us. Oh well. I suppose I should condemn it just to be safe.
And last winter I stopped sleeping with my wife, because I know that people who enjoy sex support rapists and AIDS and pregnant teens and abortion and sex slaves and child pornography and all of that.
She divorced me, but that’s OK, because I still have you, and you keep me safe.
I don’t listen to music anymore, either. Now I only listen to Turning Point.
Also, I’ve had all my taste buds scraped off my tongue.
Ok, well, I just thought you’d be interested in how I was doing, and I hope you are proud of me. Thanks for everything, I really owe you one.
Love,
Ben
—————-
Dear Legalism,
Sorry, I know it’s been a while since my last letter but I have some more questions for you.
You see, I’m a member of this church, right? And it’s a great church, and everybody there loves your book (or at least says so for fear of what might happen), and we scowl and hiss at people who do things you say are evil, and at people who don’t think like you tell us, or don’t vote like you tell us, or are just otherwise too different from the way you tell us to be.
But, the thing is, I recently won an argument (with your help, of course) against this guy who lives in my building, and all of his points were insane and didn’t make sense, and directly contradicted everything you told me to say I believe.
After the argument I asked him where he heard all those ridiculous ideas, and he said that he heard them in these four books called The Gospels of Jesus Christ, which is funny because that’s what you keep claiming to be based on.
So I started laughing and he left. But a few minutes later he came back with a copy of the Bible and opened up to those four books and started reading out of them and I saw pretty soon that they did, in fact, contradict most all of what you tell me.
I felt panic creeping over me, but then I got a good look at his Bible. Whereupon seeing that it was the wrong version, I knew at once he was a heretic, and scowled and hissed until he left again.
But the doubt had been planted and would not go away. Oh, dear sweet Legalism! This feeling of doubt was so new and frightening that, for the first time since reading your book, I wasn’t able to fall asleep that night. I wish I would have never allowed him to read out of that wretched book! I can see now why you warn us so emphatically about the fatal dangers of doubt.
In my torment I turned to my own Bible, one of an agreeable version, and began reading those four books. When I saw that the same passages existed in my own superior version as well, though they were phrased with far more exegetical sophistication. Once again, I started to panic.
So, with some serious misgivings, I went to church with my neighbor. Boy, was I surprised at what I found. The pastor preached straight out of those Gospel books, and everything he said made sense and was beautiful and profound, and he didn’t even once refer to your book, or accuse anyone of boiling in sulfur. It was the first worship service I had seen in a long time that didn’t end in at least one person gnashing their teeth.
Needless to say I was pretty confused when I left.
Posted on February 12, 2007 12:00 AM
Comments
Ben,
Your article would be hilarious if it wasnt so true. I'm sorry for your experiences. Unfortunately, our brokenness doesnt get left at the door of the church.
I can relate all too closely to your experiences. I too left a legalistic church and experienced similar suspiscion from friends and family. It has taken years of healing to recover from those experiences. Through the process I discovered a painful aspect of following God- being built up means He has to first tear you down.
Blessings on the journey,
Ryan
Posted by: Ryan | February 12, 2007 9:08 AM
Ben,
This would have been an incredibly written, witty, pointed, powerful piece, but someone added a picture of Judge Judy, and I was distracted the entire time.
Actually, this was well done. I have written my fair share of letters to Legalism, except the letters have more frequently been spoken rants, and I have actually addressed people by name. It's much more judgmental and much less artistic.
Your approach was much better. Thanks.
Posted by: Cory | February 12, 2007 1:38 PM
A friend sent me this today knowing I'd love it. Great post. :)
Posted by: Dean Trippe | February 15, 2007 12:20 PM
Ben:
Awesome! I'm a Baptist boy, raised in a church where not smoking was talked about more than the deity of Jesus. I have screamed the same thoughts to that church that you have voiced in your letter.
I appreciate the way you've given a specific voice to legalism. We're not even aware of that voice until someone (like you) puts words to it.
Thanks again.
Posted by: Gary | February 16, 2007 8:37 AM
Aaaaaah. Thank God not everyone is retarded.
I'm forwarding this.
Posted by: Matthew Lane | February 18, 2007 1:18 PM
I definitley had some laughs reading this article. I too grew up surrounded by legalism, and I found myself groaning while remembering of some of my own past beliefs and actions.
It's great that you are able to vent and hopefully begin to heal some of the scars you have been given through faith based on rules instead of grace.
I would also encourage you to pray for those who are still caught in lives of legalism, the last thing they need is another person putting them on the defensive and trying to prove them wrong. It is heartbreaking that so many people know God, and yet have no idea what kind of love and freedom is available to them through Christ.
2 Corinthians 4 tells us that we are all being renewed each day, so while we are enjoying the chance to stretch in our new-found freedom let's not forget about those who don't even realize they're imprisoned.
Posted by: Melody | February 18, 2007 1:27 PM
Some people have this notion that they can live as they want and still be completely called a Christian. Some say we can do whatever we want, but there is a call going forth of separation and holiness still. Sadly, many refuse to heed this call, desiring to remain as close to the world as they can. They consider those who are holy and righteous to be insane. But, as Joshua said, as for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord.
There are somethings that are over the edge in some churches, but there must be boundaries. This article jokes at boundaries and standards, which tells me that the author does not believe in such. It is indeed such a shame.
God said to live holy. What are you going to do?
Posted by: William Price | February 21, 2007 6:00 AM
Yes. I believe that what William said is correct. God told us to live holy lives. My question is this: At what point did we translate the word "holy" to mean "set apart from sinning"?
A holy life is one that's set apart--yes--but set apart from what? Sinning? When Scripture talks about someone who is holy, it's talking about someone who is set apart TO something, not always FROM something. Jesus was set apart TO accomplish His redemptive work on the cross, and the ressurection that followed. He was set apart for LIFE. As a by-product, Jesus was set apart from sin.
We forget this, and we get the cart before the horse. My question is a simple one: What are we set apart TO accomplish, TO dream, TO enact? That's the real question. Because God knows that if I sit around all day trying to be holy by not sinning, I'm dead in the water.
The verse quoted from Joshua is the cry of Joshua's heart for holiness. Please notice what he did NOT say: He did not say, "As for me and my house, we won't lust, or lie, or cheat." He declared what true holiness is--he declared what His life would be set apart TO, not FROM--that he would indeed "serve the Lord". And, at the very heart of it, the legalist stands in the way of that actually heppening.
Posted by: Gary | February 23, 2007 7:15 PM
i love this. thanks.
Posted by: rachel | February 25, 2007 9:25 PM
Judge Judy sure has a long, skinny neck. Know it's not on the topic, but I'm just saying she does. That's all.
Posted by: Sarne | March 14, 2007 1:18 AM
May I suggest a book? Life After Legalism, you'll love it!
gbn.cc, amazon.com it is worth the read.
Posted by: Michael | April 25, 2007 11:21 PM
When a Christian deals with legalism, it not only prevents them from developing a relationship with Christ, it also causes them to rebel against God, mistrust others and their ability to practice their faith, and creates in them a legalistic heart. It can also condemn them to hell. And since I am mildly learning and developmentally disabled, even though I can pick up on things pretty quickly in some areas, my ability to comprehend most of what I am told or taught to live by is extremely limited, and yet I often feel like I'm not measuring up to anyone's standards, or that I have to be something I'm not in order to please God. For an example, do we have to follow God's Old Testament Laws? If so, then since I'm not much of a hat person, and I like to wear pants instead of dresses and keep my hair short, then I guess I'm not worthy of God's Kingdom, am I? Hmmm! I thought God loved me just the way I am, flaws and all. But apparently, because I am a woman, I must always adhere to God's strict Old Testament Laws for women, or suffer in hellfire for all of eternity for not doing so. But is wearing a hat or not wearing a hat, keeping my hair long or short, and wearing a dress or not wearing a dress, even acting feminine or boyish, REALLY going to matter to God when I meet Him face to face in Heaven? Is God REALLY that legalistic and cruel? Why would God make me the individual that I am, complete with personal preferences and all, then turn around and punish me for not living my life as a strict, Old Testament Christian woman? Do you see what I am saying? God doesn't want me to be something I'm not, and He must have given me my limitations for a reason, so why would He turn around and punish me for not being able to understand everything like other Christians and for not being able to do everything that other Christians can do? It makes no sense, does it? Anyway, I do struggle with legalism almost on a daily basis, and because of my disabilities and inability to drive a car, hold down a job, and live on my own, I have to live with my parents until I am able to move in with a close friend of mine and her husband, and because of all this, I have to deal with a dad of mine who seems to enjoy trying to control me, treating me like a child, and making me feel ashamed of my feelings, emotions, and everything I do that makes me happy. As a result, I have an extremely hard time trusting others, so I eventually became unafraid to think for myself and do my own thing. I've become a rebellious, hard-headed non-conformist, all because of people who make me believe that everything I do is wrong and nothing I do is right! And you know what else? I am now frightened to death I won't go to Heaven and be with Jesus when I die. Thanks a lot, Legalism! You've created a mess in my life, and now I may be condemned for it. Got any other bright and ingenious ways of messing me up?
Posted by: Joann | November 23, 2007 5:07 PM