What’s Your Status?

“Matt is tired and going to take a long nap.”

“Sarah can’t wait till the weekend!”

On and on and on.

Why does the Facebook status update seem so compelling to fill with our ordinary details? Who cares anyway? Peanut butter or grilled cheese; does anyone care what Rebecca had for lunch?

Never in the history of modern communication has something connected us, and simultaneously disconnected us as a people, than the Internet. We are thirsty for community, yet we have thousands of groups and networks to join. We do so many things online, that we know people for which we know no other voice than the written word.

For those not familiar with what a status update is, it is found at the top of one’s Facebook profile as blank box that you can fill in beginning with your name and the word “is”. For example “John is ____________”. It’s an exercise in “fill in the blank”, and it can be updated several times a day, or once a week or never. Once you click enter, this status update is disseminated to all of those you are connected to as “friends” on Facebook.

There are many weighing in on the positives and negatives of online social networking and what its effects are on our culture. My focus is not broad, not looking at a whole spectrum of issues pertaining to online community or lack there of, but to focus in on this little phenom of the “status update” similar to “twitter”.

If it is details that we disseminate in this way, then it seems to fit that we would need to examine why we are wanting others to know these personal details or vague references to them. Are we hungry to be known? I think so. Life is lived out in the details, and it is a significant thing to discover another friend delights in the same moments we do.

A conversation between friends can erupt online out of what one may deem shallow, but in our American empires of space not always shared and sporadic community, these exchanges seem to be a connection between our world and the others. The quiet moments of making sandwiches and cups of tea and of packing to go on vacation…feel less alone when shared with even a few others who might be online.

I can see status updates becoming a great tool for narcissists: as if every detail is riveting to the world. The other problem that can easily occur is one (perhaps belonging to the formerly mentioned personality) becomes so obsessed with updating this status they forget to actually live in the midst of their life. Perhaps this might be true for some, but for many others who live in separated moments and relationships Facebook has offered a connectivity lacking since the advent of the internet.

Facebook markets itself differently than MySpace.com does. It claims to be an extension of your “real world” community. I think this subtle reminder in some of their online copy is an encouragement toward remaining connected in tangible relationships

Whether you buy into this online network or not, young and old are joining and uploading pictures. I’m friends with our 73-year-old receptionist at church as well as my friend’s 12 year old daughter. Facebook no longer belongs solely to the 20something crowd. Could Facebook and the status update cause a necessary link between generations previously separated by technology?

The ordinary details tell the richest part of the story of our lives. They fill in the blanks that exist between us. If we don’t know the details, then do we really know each other? If someone doesn’t care about your details, do you feel known? It’s interesting most people consider small talk to be shallow. I suppose it can be. However, if “small talk” is really filled with the “small” things, then it is bigger than we think. It is “big talk” full of generalities about jobs and places you live that bore me at a party much faster than discussing someone’s unique details and affinities.

To look at the ordinary things in our lives is to conclude and discover the essence of who a person is. If you know I like vanilla tea on a cold day, and take delight in making dinner for a good friend, then you know something of me. There are a lot of details to know, but each one is important. It follows that in a world where we forced to be increasingly intentional to have real, personal, interactions with the world around us; we have found a bridge on Facebook to link these worlds together by addressing the details going on in our moments.

The Facebook status update, as a practical part of our life, says more about us than we think. We are longing to be known by those already in our lives and to be connected in a way that goes deeper than the separations our new digital culture has offered us. The next time someone asks you to be their “friend” on Facebook, consider that it might just be that they want to know a little more about you, or they might want you to know a little about them.

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Kristie Vosper is the Director of Children’s and Family Ministries at Malibu Presbyterian Church in Malibu, CA. Kristie has written for Group Publishing, Presbyterians Today, Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, and the Malibu Surfside News. She is known for her honest representations of faith and life found on her blog: Honestly Speaking.