My Pet Virus by Shawn Decker

What do you do when you contract HIV at eleven years old? Adamantly deny it. Never let on that you’re the student the school sent a warning letter about to your classmates—even when you are conspicuously absent after getting kicked out due to your illness. Maybe then you, yourself won’t believe you really have HIV.

But once you’ve come to grips with your HIV status, you might as well use it to your advantage. Get the Make-A-Wish Foundation to find a way for you to meet your favorite band of all time, Depeche Mode. Yes, this is the 1980s, when synth rock and the AIDS crisis were making headlines.

My Pet Virus is the literary equivalent of watching the dramedy Scrubs. It is the ironically funny coming-of-age story of a boy who might not have come to age, no thanks to his pet virus. “I can be laid-back about my lot in life because I now realize that I was destined for a life of medical drama from day one. I was born in the month of July, and my horoscope sign is a disease (Cancer). The symbol for Cancer? A crab (the sexually transmitted critter). Not only that, my parents named me Shawn Timothy Decker, which makes my initials S.T.D.”

Decker was born with “the royal disease,” hemophilia. His parents went into an overprotective tizzy that stops just short of making him the next Bubble Boy. Yet, time and time again, Decker wound up sick in the hospital. In the eighties, blood donations weren’t properly screened and Decker contracted hepatitis B, “the first in a long line of infectious diseases I would go on to collect—instead of stamps or coins like other kids.” Eventually, he also contracts HIV through tainted blood.

“I hope Shawn dies,” says Kip, Shawn’s older brother by two years, who was six at the time. When pressed by his mother on why he would say such a terrible thing, he utters the words that dramatically changed his parents’ outlook: “Shawn doesn’t have a life. You and Dad don’t let him do anything. He’d have more fun in Heaven.” Considering Kip’s logic, Shawn’s mother says, “If God lets Shawn live … then I’ll let him live, too.”

And live he does. With sagacious wit, Decker goes on to tell the story of his first thirty years. From his obsession with pro-wrestling’s Ric Flair to forming a band, he reminisces over his boyhood. Then his discovery of girls. Decker’s love story is unique, though. He candidly tells of how as a teenager he called the National AIDS Hotline to find out if he was putting his girlfriend at risk by having oral sex with her. (The answer: Yes.) Then, how his mom had to intervene because she knew he couldn’t tell his girlfriend he has HIV. Eventually, though, Decker finds love and marries a “negatoid,” an HIV-negative beauty-pageant contestant. Together, they help raise awareness about HIV.

While My Pet Virus explores the physical, social, and emotional struggles of living with HIV, the memoir is applicable to everyone. It is about finding humor in the midst of strife and living life to the fullest. While one could easily veer into self-promoting or cheesy territory with such inspiration, Decker’s heavy doses of sarcasm and poking fun of himself keep the book fresh.

The book is also about relationships in all its forms. Decker tells how his illness almost tore his parents apart, yet how his family’s love for him kept him alive. Over the years, his myriad of friends have included the Crompton Road Crew (classmates he stole girly mags with) and gay men with HIV he met on the Internet. And, of course, there is the romance and love with his girlfriends and wife. He also discusses the sometimes-tenuous relationship between hemophiliacs and homosexuals with AIDS.

Only briefly does Decker touch on any sort of relationship with God. Decker mentions how some Christians ostracized him because of his HIV status. However, when he and his wife were married, the ceremony was performed by a friend who works at the AIDS Service Organization and who “had been a Southern Baptist minister, a reminder that religion and compassion for people with AIDS can go hand in hand.” He also opens the book with the Depeche Mode lyrics, “I don’t want to start/ any blasphemous rumours/ but I think that God’s/ got a sick sense of humour/and when I die/ I expect to find Him laughing.”

My Pet Virus was published by Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin in 2006. Shawn Decker also has a blog at http://mypetvirus.com/.

Sunday, May 18, is AIDS Walk New York. Decker and his wife, Gwen Barringer, are currently trying to raise more money than Kenneth Cole for charity. The above-mentioned website has a link for you to donate to their fundraising efforts for the walk.

After reading My Pet Virus, I will be participating in AIDS Walk New York for the first time so you can also donate through my page: http://aidswalknewyork2008.kintera.org/snikolop