Honky Tonk Legalism
On March 9th, 2003, The Dixie Chicks were sitting on top of the country music world. The Chicks had the number one country album on the Billboard charts called Home, and they claimed the number one single with “Travelin’ Soldier”, a song about a Vietnam veteran. A day later, the short one opened her pie hole and everything came crashing down.
At a sold out concert in London, lead singer Natalie Maines told the crowd, “Just so you know, we’re ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.”
The backlash was immediate. Bombarded with angry calls, country radio dropped the Chicks faster than a song about gay cowboys. The group’s fans smashed their CDs and burned their memorabilia, at the stake. Even the Rev. Jerry Falwell joined the fray, mocking the girls’ anti-war stance by calling them, “three French hens.” Although during the boycott of France, Falwell referred to the Chicks as “three Freedom hens”.
Due to what I saw as an overtly anti-Christian theme, I burned my Dixie Chick CDs long before the Bush comment. Take for example the Chick’s hit song “Goodbye Earl”, where the girls openly advocate the murder of Earl, a man who allegedly hit his wife Wanda. Scripture is clear when it says murder is wrong (Exodus 20:13). And Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek, not to poison Earl’s black-eyed peas. Besides, vigilante-justice is illegal in America, and we are told to obey the laws of our land (Romans 13:1-7).
It bothered me that so many continued to embrace the Dixie Chicks, even after they released such songs as “Sin Wagon”, and “White Trash Wedding”, the former an ode to drunkenness, the latter a glamorization of sex outside of marriage. Thankfully, Maine’s political rant jarred Christians loose from their apathy, and turned them from their sinful listening habits. Although to be fair, I don’t think that criticizing the president is technically a sin.
With the Dixie Chicks in hiding, many blindly assumed country radio was once again what Jesus would listen to (WWJLT?). But sadly, some of our twangiest musicians are still poisoning the minds of Christians, while hiding under the guise of the family-friendly country music scene. Take for instance Toby Keith.
Keith has made more money off the Iraq War than Halliburton, so we Red-Staters feel comfortable with his politics. But take a closer look at some of his other songs, like the #1 hit “As Good As I Once Was”. In this song, Keith boasts about being propositioned for sex by two women. Sure, some men in the Old Testament had two wives, but nowadays this sort of behavior is considered sinful. Besides, Keith never suggests that he intends to marry these women before he, in his own words, “lays it down”.
Then there is Brad Paisley, and his smash hit “Alcohol”, which is no more than a love song to inebriation. Do I need to remind Brad that the Bible forbids us to be drunk on wine (Ephesians 5:18)? Speaking of being drunk, what about American Idol Carrie Underwood’s song “Jesus Take the Wheel”? Is Carrie a little too tipsy to drive herself? And don’t even get me started on Trace Adkins’ repulsive “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”, a lustful limerick dedicated to the hindquarters of southern females.
Now to make matters worse, the Dixie Chicks have made a comeback. Last week the Chick’s new album, Taking The Long Way, debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts. But Christians should not fret, because I have a plan.
We must go to Target, and Best Buy, and Sam Goody, and purchase every last copy of the Dixie Chicks new album. Then we will all meet somewhere, let’s say Jordan Green’s house, and we will build the largest bonfire the world has ever seen. And when the Dixie Chicks see the flames of peculiar Christian-activism lighting up the Western sky, they will know that we are reclaiming country music for the Lord, and that their days at the top of the charts are numbered.
(Insert large winking smiley face here)
Posted on June 15, 2006 12:00 AM
Comments
I almost puked in my mouth when i thought this article was serious. A fun read with a classic SNL 'church lady' feel to it.
Posted by: mark backus | June 17, 2006 4:29 PM
I like the part about Carrie being too drunk to take the wheel. Haha. Gosh, I need to pay more attention to the Lyrics in songs. At least I think I do. I love listening to all types of music, but I don't always take time to analyze the meaning. I wonder if I never really understand, or hear the words consciously, if that really has any effect on me anyway. Im one of those who really only listens to the beats anyway. What does that mean anyway? I guess its tough to hear words to songs these days. Just lots of noise.
Posted by: John Koch | June 18, 2006 7:03 PM
Very nice Stephen-Colbertish take, but the premise is flawed. The Dixie Chicks weren't banned from Country radio because of Christian reaction, but because of backlash from Country Music fans. While there is some overlap between these two groups, the uproar was distinctly among the Country Music fan base. But you are right to point that those in the overlap (both Christian and Country fan) should not have protested the President-bashing while accepting the pro-adultery lyrics. Clearly a confused value system.
Posted by: Luke Woodard | June 19, 2006 10:13 AM
Hey, guys-- did you really have to use that pic? That's seriously too erotic. I wouldn't want my co-workers to walk by my desk and see that and didn't really want to see it myself. WAAAYYYY too much skin!! I'm a little disappointed. :(
Posted by: Kris St. James | June 19, 2006 1:10 PM
Kris,
You should really be angry at Entertainment Weekly for taking the picture in the first place. And where do you work that's bothered by pictures like this?
Posted by: Jordan | June 19, 2006 1:15 PM
Witty essay Jonathan Swift. The photo makes me feel funny though, like when I climb rope in gym class.
Posted by: Will Fifield | June 19, 2006 3:18 PM
I think country radio had a huge problem with what the Dixie Chicks said because it prides itself on being patriotic--not because it's "Christian."
I think you are right that there are major problems having Christian themes alongside themes of adultery and alcoholism, but I don't think Christianity was a big factor in the backlash that happened with DC. Being anti-Bush wasn't necessarily anti-Christian, it was anti-patriotic.
By the way, their new album is really good. Musical, thoughtful, nice and bluegrassy. Some of the best "mainstream" country out right now. I think they have grown out of the sensationalism of their past work. I recommend it.
Posted by: Kenny Coble | June 19, 2006 4:55 PM
Music is so often an expression of culture and values, and I can't say country music is too far off target for the culture it represents. I definitely think several of the DC songs lack morality, but I have to respect their bold honesty regarding politics. They're taking the road less traveled in the country genre by being anti-war, anti-Bush, and the fan base is stereotypically conservative Republican. I think it's funny that this fan base is so quick to attack anti-Bush comments, but so slow to attack the morality issues in the songs of the more well-liked, pro-war artists.
Posted by: dina | June 26, 2006 8:00 PM
i thought this article is serious.then as i read through,i wonder how can an intelligent magazine such as this can write such narrow minded article...but then again the title speakks for itself.:-)
its a parody lol...
...and yeah,brad paisley's alcohol does not adsvocate drunkeness.:-)
Posted by: michael anthony curan | August 8, 2007 11:14 AM
good worck His sister, Shyamali, too, has come under the spotlight. But not for her singing. Pictures of her wearing nothing but a smile behind a guitar has made the ...
senks
Posted by: Kagcresee | December 25, 2007 1:19 AM
While the skills cast-off to assemble them are certainly powerful, it is the unrevealed system lower down that transforms the bracelets from pure and witless jewelry into stories.
In this pack, the copper old for the bracelets was indeed the outer jacket of a 155mm artillery hull ? the remnants of war, unfortunately, that are as much a large of Cambodia's days of yore as Angkor Wat.
What has happened here has a sort of gift to its witless beauty. Etching the patterns of the Ogygian last alters the figurative patterns of Cambodia's more just out and upsetting last into something unmitigated: skills and incomes for victims of genocidal conflict.
Posted by: enteglexy | June 5, 2008 6:53 PM