The Onion Movie

It's amazing to consider the longevity and consistency of The Onion, especially in comparison to the slow but relentless decline of other satire outfits like National Lampoon and Mad Magazine. Since 1988, The Onion has faltered only once or twice, most notably during a brief stint when readers (and I was one of them) paid a membership fee for access to the archives.

Even after 20 years, The Onion still produces better satire than The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, partly because it's not hamstrung by network censors. The Onion's review and pop culture department, the AV Club, is a consistently great source of entertainment and commentary. Even the most recent addition to the site, the Onion News Network, which seemed a dangerous venture when it began, has been excellent. Take, for instance, stories like "Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful to Monkeys" and Today Show spoof Today Now.

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

So the idea of The Onion Movie seemed automatic.

It's not. It's half-hearted and, against type, goes for the lowest common denominator even while pretending to be in on the joke. Built loosely around the story of an Onion anchor battling corporate invasion of the newsroom, the film skips from sketch to sketch, often direct retreads of old Onion material. When the film leaves that tired ground, they do so only to spoof Britney Spears with Melissa Cherry, a virginal pop singer with sexually explicit lyrics and music videos and fake ads featuring a new Steven Segal film titled "Cockpuncher".

Partly, this may be due to The Onion Movie's long march straight to DVD. The movie filmed in 2003 and 2007. Five years, of course, does not bode well for an outfit built on fresh satire. To their credit, The Onion management reportedly wanted to scrap all old footage and start from scratch.

But even with that excuse, the jokes aren't very good and the talent, especially Len Cariou as anchor Norm Archer, aren't up to the task. It seems, at least, writers for the Onion News Network learned from the mistakes. So, you know, there's that.

The Onion will be fine, but it's a testament to the lag time and problems of working with Hollywood that a such a mediocre attempt would hit DVD at all. Of course, they got my money from renting the thing, so it's probably working out after all. If this trailer makes you laugh, you don't even need to see the movie...that's about all there is.