Letter from a Feminist

Dear Christian Men,

My experience in the evangelical church is that feminism might as well be the f-word: considered disgraceful within sacred walls. If it is employed from the pulpit, I have almost always heard it as a word of suspicion, dropped into the context of judging abortion, lesbians, or the feared “feminazis” intent on emasculating the world’s men. In short, the word is squeezed into a very narrow space of religious shaming, and thus it can be neither engaged nor critiqued well.

In using the word to identify myself, I wonder already about your immediate reaction; my hunch is that most of us are programmed to have a visceral response. From my 13 years in the church, I have seen the grimaces of many men when I speak it. And I admit, the word these days can be coated with contempt, shutting out rather than inviting dialogue. If you are a man who has heard feminism only as a weapon to emasculate, then you are probably already shifting in your seat and bracing to protect yourself. If you have heard the word only to strip you of your own voice, then you may not know how to hear mine.

To a different degree, calling myself a feminist has similar discomfort to calling myself a Christian in a world where “Christian” seems to connote a pantheon of political agendas that are foreign to my own understanding of Jesus. And yet, for me to drop the word “Christian” is to no longer participate in reclaiming it. Perhaps you have struggled with this very tension: how do we use words that hold something of our vision, yet have been used to exclude or create misunderstanding? What do we do with words that must stay in movement to be vital, yet so often are petrified into ideological stonewalls?

Feminism has never been an easy word, all too often given categorical usage that does not speak to its diverse meaning and history. The French-descended term was actually first used in the U.S. by a small group of suffragists in the early part of the century. Now, historians apply the word retroactively to also include the so-called “first wave” feminism of the mid-1800’s, a time when people like John Stuart Mill and Elizabeth Cady Stanton began to draw on Enlightenment principles to argue for women’s participation in education and democracy. Yet, undeniably the term gained most of its notoriety-and its enemies- from its use in the so-called Women’s Movement in the 1960’s and 70’s, a time marked by controversies that cut to the marrow of family and societal assumptions about sex and gender.

It is important to realize that these historical movements and the current feminist agendas are never just about gender but are always textured by economics, religion, race, and class.(i) Thus, among African American women, it has been a long fight to show white women that feminism must be a movement for all women, not just those with a privileged skin color. Among working class women, it has been a battle to earn equitable wages, so that women who need to can better provide for themselves or their families. Among homeless women, feminism has helped us see how women from diverse economic status can end up without resources when fleeing domestic violence. In global settings, feminism has taken on even more expressions. In places in Africa, it has started grassroots efforts to educate communities about the health dangers of female genital cutting. In Afganistan, it has advocated for girls’ rights to go to school. In Thailand, it asks that the international community has eyes to see the crisis of women and girls trafficked into sexual slavery. To assume feminism is simple or monolithic is to misuse the term, for advocacy for the human rights it addresses is always shaped by contextual variables.

Yet, so often feminism is spoken of as though it were simple- especially from evangelical pulpits that miss its complexity and equate it only with “anti-biblical” language. The word triggers deep fears, and perhaps rightly so. Feminism has indeed undermined traditional, culturally sacred views of femininity. It has entered deeply controversial issues, from abortion to homosexuality. It has always been intent to disrupt, to call attention, to ask us to see something we have not seen before. In addressing the harm of gender hierarchy, it has both pioneered boldly and failed boldly. Yet one thing it has done remarkably well: feminism has brought into the light the ubiquitous interplay of power and gender, and has given us a new lens to see the harm that lives within our historical system.

For Christians, the struggle to understand feminism will journey through Scriptural text and hermeneutical lenses. We talk about our families, our churches, and the Bible and wrestle to make sense of how to think about gendered ways of being. Yet, within our dialogue on “what the Bible says,” we also bring our cultural inheritance, family of origins, and personal experiences, even if we never name them as present. We can pull proof-texts from sacred manuscripts and often miss the interwoven complexities of text and interpretation. Our gaze narrows the more defensive we get: we erect theological and relational stonewalls and fail to see what gets assigned to peripheral vision. In efforts to protect and defend, do we not see how feminism has profoundly gifted the church?

Why has the church for most of its history failed to address “feminist” issues like domestic violence and rape?(ii) Why did feminists need to make us aware? There seems to have been a limited discourse- a disturbing absence- of discussion from the papacy or pulpit on issues that tend to be more specific to a women’s suffering.(iii) Furthermore, early church fathers were notorious for their misogyny, abetting from the beginning a legacy of religion and sexism (Tertullian pronounced women as the “devil’s gateway” based on his reading of Genesis; his exegesis has a great deal of company among the church fathers.)(iv) Clearly, whether God used people inside or outside the church, there was work to be done to restore the imago dei.(v) Thus, ultimately my concern in this letter is not about whether you criticize the downfalls of a complex movement or how you do or do not argue Biblical texts for understanding gender.

My concern is whether we have forgotten to say thank you.

. . .

Which brings me to my hopes. If we can express gratitude well, perhaps we will have more vision to critique well. For myself, my largest critique of feminism within the church is its struggle to be invitational, particularly with men. Yet, if it has constructed walls, my longing is to tear them down, walk through the ruins, and meet you. I long to tell you that if feminism has ever said you are not needed, it has failed. If it has written off the value of your voice, it has not honored you. If it has sought to dismiss the complexity of the differences between a man and a woman, it has denied something of the mystery of God who created both to reveal glory.

I will meet you with the rubble at our feet. But then I ask you: will you look down with me to the remnants of the wall and listen to the cries of its stones? Stones that built the 19th amendment, so 50% more people could participate in democracy. Stones that brought equal opportunities for education, so our mothers could go to college. Stones that asked for rape to be a crime in the cultural conscious, not silenced violence. Stones that cried out for a voice, so that their own experiences of life could be seen. Will you stand beside me and feel the weight of such stones in your hands: will you listen long enough to imagine how a woman’s world and history may operate very differently from yours? If you can have such curiosity, then you might understand why I am still a feminist.

I will continue to be a feminist- to speak for the rights of the world’s daughters- until African girls’ genitals are no longer mutilated to assure systems of marriage, economics, and virginity.(vi) When hundreds of thousands of women and girls are no longer trafficked into sexual slavery every year.(vii) When poverty is not disproportionately affecting women and girls because of lack of access to education and jobs. When violence at the hands of their partner is no longer a major cause of death and disability for women ages 16-44 around the world.(viii) When domestic violence is no longer hurting 1 in 4 women in America(ix), statistics that have been reported equal in religious communities as secular.(x) When teenage girls in America no longer are marketed to internalize an “ideal” body that is airbrushed, curveless, and hungry. When I no longer live in a culture where it is estimated that 1 in 5 women are raped.(xi) Because in 2007 such harm is still allowed against the world’s daughters, feminism still must have a voice. Will you join me and other feminists in advocating for human rights?

I have addressed my concerns to men not to shut out the voices of women, but because I see a particular need to engage Christian brothers in the conversation. Furthermore, I ironically care little whether or not you ever embrace this disputed word. What is important is that you are willing to engage. I ask that you pay attention to why gender equality matters so that we may better partner together; I ask that you see harm and allow yourself to feel heartache; I ask you to offer the voice of your unique perspectives and bring the value of your experience into a dialogue about what it means to be men and women in the church. Your participation matters - even just the simple willingness to listen well - for there is something to rebuild together. There is a new partnership to create.

I recently met a man who is both knocking down the walls of feminism and seeking to build something new with its stones. His organization is passionate about teaching young men about domestic and sexual violence and inspiring them to take part in a culture’s healing. He teaches on the media’s depiction of male aggression. He explains how our culture fosters violence towards women. He shares about his daughter’s rape. And with tears in his eyes, he said something this feminist will never forget. In humility, he critiqued what he saw as the downfalls of feminism, and then he stopped and said two simple words - thank you. He said thank you to the feminist leaders who had the courage to go before him, so that he could see more and engage more. His tears brought my own, and gave my own heart a moment of redemption. I had never heard a Christian man say thank you before.

Kimberly George

P.S. If you are interested in taking part in dialogue and/or a possible seminar on the topic of faith, gender, and human rights, please contact me at faithandgender@gmail.com.

(Footnotes)

(i) Professor Estelle Freedman at Stanford University makes this point repeatedly in her lecture series on “Feminism and the Future of Women.” The lecture series is available through the Modern Scholar, (C) 2004 by Recorded Books, LLC.

(ii) Marie Fortune, in her book Sexual Violence, develops this point further in discussing the church’s historical sin of omission in failing to address rape as a crime against women. She researches back through church history to reveal how and why the church has neglected to advocate for rights of survivors of sexual violence.

(iii) It is important to realize that men also experience domestic violence and rape. Though the numbers are much lower, it is important to recognize, especially because it is so often a culturally silenced experience for men.

(iv) The longer quote is as follows: “Do you not realize that Eve is you? The curse God pronounced on your sex weighs still on the world. Guilty, you must bear its hardships. You are the devil’s gateway, you desecrated that fatal tree, you first betrayed the law of God, you who softened up with your cajoling words the man against whom the devil could not prevail by force. The image of God, the man Adam, you broke him, it was child’s play to you. You deserved death, and it was the Son of God who had to die!” (Warner, Alone of All Her Sex, p 58).

(v) “Imago dei” is the theological concept that both men and women are created in the image of God, as Genesis explicitly narrates in the creation story.

(vi) It is estimated that 130 million women alive today have gone through this practice of genital cutting, mainly in Africa and the Middle East. (Referred to by General Assembly. In-Depth Study on All Forms of Violence against Women: Report of the Secretary-General, 2006. A/61/122/Add.1. 6 July 2006. 39.)

(vii) Some statistics put this number in the millions. (UNESCO Trafficking Statistics Project, 2004.)

(viii) Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe 2002, Recommendation 1582 on Domestic Violence against women.

(ix) Tjaden, Patricia & Thoennes, Nancy. National Institute of Justice and the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention. “Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence,” 2000.

(x) Christopher G. Ellison, John P. Bartkowski, and Kristin L. Anderson. “Are There Religious Variations in Domestic Violence?” Journal of Family Issues, no. 1, January 1999, 96, 104.

(xi) Many organizations actually will put this number at 1 in 4. Rape statistics are difficult to verify, because so many rapes go unreported. (Referred to by Maria Jose Alcala. State of World Population 2005. The Promise of Equality: Gender Equity, Reproductive Health and the Millennium Development Goals. UNFPA. 2005. 65.)