Bowl Predictions from Donald Miller and Jordan Green

Editor’s Note: This article was written before the bowls were actually played. They have not been edited in anyway to make either author seem smarter. We are not very good at seeming smart. Only the actual winners of each bowl game have been added.

We here at the Burnside Writer’s Collective love the finer things in life: great literature, brilliant concept albums, artsy films, blah blah blah.

But what we REALLY love is sports. Especially college sports. March Madness, for instance (expect hastily written reviews around that time), or college football season.

This fall, we are treated with an especially interesting athletic season. The University of Portland women’s soccer team just won its second national championship over the UCLA Bruins (Bruinettes?). The same day, the Bowl Championship Series, which could legitimately be considered the Darth Vader of college athletics, selected the teams that would compete for the top four bowl games in the nation.

So, for the launch of our new site, Donald Miller and I (Jordan Green) will offer our humble analysis of 8 major bowls: who will win and who was slighted.

Oregon Ducks versus Oklahoma Sooners in the Holiday Bowl

Don: Oklahoma, unfortunately. I love Oregon football, and I think next year is their year. They are going to be a powerhouse. This year, however, I don’t think the records tell the whole story. Oregon only lost to USC, but they didn’t have to play UCLA, and the rest of the Pac-10 wasn’t as strong as usual. They are a very good football team, but the boys from Oklahoma have more to prove. Next year, Ducks.

Jordan: Oregon. After going 10-1 and losing their only game to USC, it’s an unholy travesty that Notre Dame got picked for a BCS bowl and Oregon didn’t. Sooners running back Adrian Peterson will eventually be a better running back than Reggie Bush, but that’s only if Oregon’s man-beast defensive tackle Haloti Ngata doesn’t tear his legs off with his tree trunk arms. Oregon deserves better, and they’ll beat their frustrations into a weak Oklahoma team.

Final Score: Oklahoma wins, 17-14

Miami Hurricanes versus LSU Tigers in the Peach Bowl

Don: LSU. The Tigers had a great season and should be able to pull it off against a Miami team who had a hiccup of a good season. Miami will be back, as usual, but this one goes to Louisiana State.

Jordan: LSU. Miami will make this a great game, and they are capable, at any time, of beating almost any team in the nation. That being said, Jamarcus Russell is too good, and Miami’s inexperience will be their undoing.

Final Score: LSU wins, 40-3.

Texas Tech Red Raiders versus Alabama Crimson Tide in the Cotton Bowl

Don: Alabama. Alabama is a football program on the rise, and as much as I love the Red Raiders, I don’t think their program is there yet. They are a team to watch, though.

Jordan: Alabama. All you have to do to beat the Red Raiders is defend the pass. Alabama has too much speed in their secondary, and just enough offensive firepower to score a few touchdowns. That’s probably all they’ll need.

Final Score: Alabama wins, 13-10

Wisconsin Badgers versus Auburn Tigers n the Capital One Bowl

Don: Wisconsin? Brett Farve (sic) hasn’t had a great year, so I was surprised to see Wisconsin in a bowl game. I think he and the Packers can beat Auburn.

Jordan: Auburn. I love badgers. I love them very much. But as much as I love badgers, Auburn will win.

Final Score: Wisconsin wins, 24-10.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish versus Ohio State Buckeyes in the Fiesta Bowl

Don: Ohio State, unfortunately. Notre Dame proved they were a powerful football team by almost beating USC at home. And despite what most people in Oregon think, this is a more interesting game than an Oregon-Ohio match-up. Unfortunately, I think Ohio State is going to take this game by a narrow margin. But Notre Dame has a shot at the national championship next year.

Jordan: Ohio State, thankfully. Despite what Don thinks, this, as I said before, is an unholy travesty. USC beat Notre Dame because they did just enough to win. If the full power of USC had been evident, an entire nation of Catholics in mourning would’ve crippled an already tenuous American economy. USC head coach Pete Carroll’s understanding of the far-reaching implications caused him to let up, and poll voters have latched onto that game like leeches. Notre Dame only beat three winning teams: Michigan, BYU (!) and Navy (!!!). Ohio State will kill them.

Final Score: Ohio State wins, 34-20

West Virginia Mountaineers versus Georgia Bulldogs in the Sugar Bowl

Don: Georgia. Georgia looked strong all year and I don’t see them having trouble with West Virginia.

Jordan: Georgia. The Bulldogs play in the SEC. The Mountaineers played teams like South Florida, Connecticut and some school called Wofford. The Bulldogs will be victorious.

Final Score: West Virginia wins, 38-35

Florida State Seminoles versus Penn State Nittany Lions in the Orange Bowl

Don: Penn State. Just two years ago the Pennsylvania media were calling for Jo-Pa’s resignation. I think Penn State is the greatest story in college football this year. They certainly have the talent to beat Florida State, who struggled at the end of their season, and I think Paterno will have his team ready.

Jordan: Penn State. It’s the battle of the old coaches, and it might come down to who’s prostate can last the longest. I can’t vote against Penn State, though, because I like their uniforms: so clean and simple!

Final Score: Penn State wins, 26-23 in three overtimes

And that leaves us with the big one, the National Championship…

Texas Longhorns versus USC Trojans in the Rose Bowl

Don: Texas. My roomate and I went to see Texas play Rice last year in Austin. It was great memory. Texas is due for a national championship, and I have to believe they are hungrier than the Trojans. Vince Young is a determined quarterback, and he is going to want to show the world that he means more to his team than Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush put together. I think Texas wins this by a narrow margin.

Jordan: USC. I really like Vince Young. He seems like a nice guy. The Longhorns have blown through almost every opponent this year, with the notable exception of Ohio State. USC’s games have been closer, with narrow-margin wins against Fresno State and Notre Dame. All in all, it looks like a match-up similar to last year’s national championship game between USC and Oklahoma, a game that USC won handily. I’m not impressed by blowouts. I’m impressed by teams that win games when the pressure is on, and anyone who watched Matt Leinart carve up Notre Dame’s secondary on their winning drive, and anyone who watched the confident swagger as USC went for a touchdown with seconds left in that game, knows that the Trojans are built to win this game.

I’m biased, though. My girlfriend is a USC grad, and they are a PAC-10 team. I wouldn’t mind seeing smarmy Pete Carroll suffer, but Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart are unstoppable, and they’re surrounded by incredible talent. This will either be a great game or USC will blow Texas away. Either way, USC will walk away with their third straight national championship.

Final Score: Texas wins, 41-38

Donald Miller is the chairman of The Burnside Writer’s Collective and the author of “Blue Like Jazz”, “Searching for God Knows What”, “Through Painted Deserts” and the upcoming “To Own a Dragon”. He lives in Portland, Oregon.

Jordan Green is the editor of burnsidewriterscollective.com and The Ankeny Briefcase. He is a rabid Ducks fan, making sure to watch every game, even if that means sitting with a bunch of Oregon State fans in a smoky sports bar.

File Under: The Day Don Knew the Future

Posted on December 5, 2005 2:35 PM