Hockey is Awesome. No, Really!

It is no secret in Canada that Americans often pay us no mind. We know we are widely regarded as your friendly northern neighbours, who are always polite and tend to rely on you for nearly everything. We are the brunt of witty jokes and lately, a haven for a few drugged out football players.

And I should make it clear that, as a proud Canadian, I am not bitter about these perceptions.

But you should know that here in Canada we are shown a video in elementary school, a video of a camera crew strolling through the southern U.S. asking people all sorts of questions about Canada. This video is supposed to be hilarious because they ask some guy in a sauce-laden tank top about the climate up north. Of course, he is horribly wrong (we don’t actually live in igloos, and we have had electricity and running water for years now) because he was never taught facts about Canada, which is not his fault.

Stay with me now because I’m getting to the point.

Canada is largely about three things. Hockey is one, politics another and, of course, up here we love our beer. I am about two things. Hockey is one, and the other one has nothing to do with running for office.

I’ve heard that Americans don’t watch hockey. I’m not upset— I chalk it up to the same reason the mullet man doesn’t know random facts about Canada. It’s a lack of exposure. But with the NHL playoffs nearing the Stanley Cup finals, I want to share some things about hockey, in an attempt to give you, my American friends, a few reasons to tune in. I want to give you some exposure. Consider it a form of diplomacy. Oh, and if you are wondering where to find NHL hockey on television, I think it’s on the Outdoor Life Network. Which is another reason I won’t blame you if you haven’t been watching.

1. FIGHTING: How cool is it that if you are mad enough, and slamming a grown man into the boards isn’t enough to curb your frustration, you can discard your gloves and pummel your counterpart in the face? It’s great. And on top of that you only have to serve a five-minute penalty, after which you are lauded as a hero amongst your peers and feared by your enemies. Most fighters only play about two minutes a game, and yet are revered as much as the most talented players in the game.

There is a small, timid group of people who think fighting doesn’t belong in hockey. Luckily, no one listens to them, (because they don’t speak loud enough) and if they spoke up, they would promptly be punched in the face. A good sign that fighting belongs in hockey? It’s the only part of the game that gets every fan out of their seat.

2. GLORY: Most NHL players will do whatever it takes to win the Stanley Cup. This includes blocking shots with various body parts, taking body checks from large men, and playing with injuries as bad as broken bones. In a recent playoff game, Ryan Smyth, a forward for the Edmonton Oilers, was hit in the face with a puck and lost several teeth. Should most people be so unfortunate as to suffer this affliction, they would likely take a week off work. Not a hockey player. The referee scooped the stray chiclets up with a shovel, while Smyth went to the bench to get stitches. He missed a mere five minutes of game time. Smyth and a legion of players like him, have the pain tolerance of road kill. As an ironic side-note, their faces also have similar qualities. All this to win a cup that is three-and-a-half feet tall, roughly 50 lbs. and has likely seen more strip clubs, dank pubs and gutters than Colin Farrell.

This warrior mentality is especially prominent in Canadian players who grew up watching those who came before them win the Stanley Cup and vault immediately into a level of status that most of us never thought existed.

3. EMERGING STARS: The United States had a crop of players in recent years that enjoyed some success at the international level. Mike Modano, Keith Tckachuk and Tony Amonte were the faces of American hockey for a years, but they are entering the twilight of their careers. Fans of USA hockey need not fear, for the NHL has a group of young American players who are emerging as some of the league’s elite.

The Buffalo Sabres, one of three teams remaining in the playoffs, employ Ryan Miller, an incredible goalie, and Tim Connolly, a shifty forward who turned heads with highlight reel goals. Miller has emerged a star in these playoffs and Connolly, once a touted prospect, resurrected his career before suffering a concussion from a body check he was tagged with as he cut across the middle of the ice (a big no-no in hockey). Both are young, talented and likely to play for Team USA for a long time. Other young American stars include Brian Gionta (New Jersey Devils), Erik Cole (Carolina Hurricanes), John-Michael Liles (Colorado Avalanche), and Phil Kessel, a potential first-overall pick in the upcoming NHL entry draft.

4. SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME: In the regular season the NHL settles its ties with a shootout. This is not the case in the playoffs. Instead, there is sudden death hockey, where the first goal wins the game and heart rates fluctuate with dangerous regularity. The stakes are high and the intensity higher. A split second separates complete jubilation and the sickening emptiness of defeat. It is basketball’s buzzer beater, baseball’s walk-off home run and football’s Hail Mary all rolled into one wonderful, frozen package.

I don’t know if you’ll take to Canada’s game. All I ask is that one night in the coming weeks, you’ll grab a cold beer (it doesn’t have to be from Canada, but light beer should be avoided) and settle into a comfortable chair. In fact, give yourself a few minutes extra, because it could take a while to find the Outdoor Life Network. Be ready for speed, power, skill and excitement, and remember— in hockey, you can’t run out of bounds.

Jon Adams would love to read your comments, complaints, suggestions, and/or praises.