It’s a Disaster for Scotland!

The World Cup has come, and on this side of the Atlantic everyone is waiting in anticipation. Everyone, that is, except us - and by us I mean Scotland; the land of tartan and kilts, whisky, dodgy football teams and the Loch Ness monster.

Yes, World Cup fever is here and you may have already guessed that Scotland failed to qualify. Again. Long have I endured the angst-riven cry of our football commentators as another goal is scored against us…”It’s a disaster for Scotland!!!”

I grew up during the glory years of Scottish football, watching them qualify for successive World Cups in 1970, 74, 78, 82, 86, 90, (no U.S.A. ‘94.) and finally in 98.

Since then it’s forever been our cry of “… disaster for Scotland.”

So what do you do when year in year out your national team is getting trounced by everyone?

I’ll tell you - you hit the bottle. Not any old Cracklin’ Rose either. No, sir you hit it with style and, in our case, numbers- big numbers - a bottle from as many countries as you can name.

Let me explain. Four or five years ago Scotland was struggling as a football team and it was customary for me to spend the evening watching the matches with a friend from work named Gibby. Gibby shared my passion for Scottish football and also enjoyed a few beers.

It’s traditional for a guest to bring round a bottle to share with the hosts during the game, but by this time the football was dire and depressing to watch. We needed a bit of relief so instead of having the usual beers I opted to take a bottle from the country of the opposing team. In this case it was Portugal so I took a 10 year-old bottle of tawny port. It was the perfect foil- no, we didn’t win, in fact we were beat 4-0, but we did drink all the port and mighty fine it was too!

Since then, we’ve continued to raise a toast the kick off of every match- from every one of our opposing countries. An interesting bottle of port has steamrolled into sumptuous wines from Italy, Romania, Moldova and the U.S.A., smooth vodkas from Belarus, Estonia and Sweden- even exotic licqueurs from Norway and Denmark.

Our last match featured the Japanese resulting in a bottle of Saki donated by a friend of Gibby which tasted like brown vinegar. Of course, we did not fail to remember the obligatory bottle of beer on the way.

All in, it’s been over 30 countries world wide that we’ve managed to acquire drink from. We are truly friends of the net and are constantly scanning the latest lines in supermarkets wines and spirits for new editions.

No longer are our matches filled with dread, for a new manager was brought in last year, and has already won us our first piece of silverware in 20 years. We are up for the challenge of producing a bottle from the next country, now believing this has the power to put the hoodoo on them.

In that vein, the teams for the 2008 European Championships have been announced, and Scotland will play Italy, France, Ukraine, Lithuania, Georgia and the Faroe Islands- don’t worry, we’ve got all the games covered (yes, even the Faroe Islands- they produce their own beer).

How did we manage it? Don’t ask- it’s a long story- just raise a glass with us as we drink to the sweet taste of victory, COME ON SCOTLAND!!