April in Review

Some thoughts;

1) The NHL playoffs are my favorite time of year. Some of you may like Christmas, or your birthday, and hey, I bet there are even a few among you who are fans of the underwhelming New Year’s Eve bash. Some of the ladies, who undoubtedly avoid this column at all costs, probably enjoy Valentine’s day, or say, their anniversary. As for me, I get giddy every April when the playoffs roll around.

You are probably wondering who the best team in the playoffs has been so far. I hate to say it but it’s the Ottawa Senators. Now, I feel you should know that up here in Canada there’s only one thing that a person from Toronto hates more than smog. And that’s the Ottawa Senators. They are the sworn enemy of the Leafs nation. Just last night I was listening to a story about a guy who took a road trip to Ottawa with some buddies, and they went to a Sens-Leafs game with their Leafs jerseys on. This prompted a series of fights and brawls that involved anywhere between 20 and 40 people.

But anyways the Senators are playing well. In fact they’re playing better than I’ve ever seen them play. Every playoffs they used to play the Leafs, and our tougher players would smash around their fou-fou skilled players (see Hossa, Marian[nne] and Alfredsson, Daniel), and eventually those skilled players would avoid the puck like it was the plague. But now the Senators hit. And they skate. And their skilled players are exciting (see Heatley, Dany and Spezza, Jason). I think they’re the best bet to win the Stanley Cup this year, and I’m not even sure if I’m that upset about it.

For the record, I should tell you that I’m pulling for the Anaheim Ducks. Their defensemen Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer are Canadian legends and the Ducks have a plethora of young talent that is fun to watch, including Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry. Meanwhile, defenseman Francois Beauchemin has been playing with a broken jaw, which he suffered as he took a puck in the face. Don’t let his name fool you; he is much tougher than he sounds.

I was watching Sportscenter one morning, and the desk jockey was setting up a feature on the Anaheim Ducks and how great their penalty kill has been in the playoffs (it’s been effective to the tune of 94% in the playoffs so far). The Ducks are playing the Vancouver Canucks, and so referencing the Vancouver power play the guy says, “Meanwhile, the Canucks PP is embarrassing to look at.” Read it out loud. Yep. I laughed for about 5 minutes. How do these guys keep a straight face? I tell you, the best humor writes itself.

2) To be successful in professional sports you have to start from the ground up. You need a front office that has it together. Take the San Antonio Spurs, Detroit Red Wings, New Jersey Devils, and Oakland Athletics as examples. All these teams have remained competitive over the course of many seasons, despite changing coaches, player personnel and league dynamics.

At the other end of this spectrum you will find the Oakland Raiders. I’ll be the first to admit that out of the North American big four of Baseball, Hockey, Basketball and Football, the NFL is the league I know the least about. But I know a little bit, enough to ask my friend Mad Dog, an NFL guru, some intelligent questions.

Anyways, when the Raiders selected JaMarcus Russell, I didn’t ask any questions. Mad Dog had told me before that Russell is a beast; possessing the strongest arm since… well possibly the strongest arm ever. Plus he’s huge and strong and all that jazz. No one is going to criticize passing over Calvin Johnson, since the Raiders had Randy Moss. It makes sense to turn down the franchise-receiver for the potential franchise-quaterback. And then, in a swoop of genius, the Raiders turn around and trade Moss to the Pats for a bag of peanuts and some light beer.

Doesn’t this now seem like a mistake? Or at the very least doesn’t it confuse anyone? I’m confused. All I ever heard about leading up to the draft is how good Calvin Johnson is, and how he’s a can’t miss prospect and every wonderful sports cliche in the book; you know, all the ones that we drool over only to find no one ever lives up to them.

Anyways the Raiders are in shambles. The Art Shell sagas one and two are both well documented by Bill Simmons, and now we have this little debacle, and I’m actually kind of looking forward to how this all pans out. Everyone seems generally excited about Moss playing with Stallworth and Brady, and I am looking forward to who’s better in a few years between Russell and Calvin Johnson.

Speaking of good times all around, I thoroughly enjoyed all the over reacting about Brady Quinn. My favorite part of the draft was when the panel spent a legitimate 15 minutes talking about how the Dolphins will pick Quinn and about how it’s a match made in heaven. Someone had definitely given them a heads up that the Dolphins were going with Quinn no matter what. The cameras on Quinn before the pick showed him looking relaxed and confident, like he knew also had been tipped off and knew what was coming, and then BAM! They take Ted Ginn Jr, followed by the cameras flashing immediately to Quinn as he said, “wow, that’s a surprise.” Like I said, you can’t write this stuff. It’s brilliant unintentional comedy. The panel paused like they’d just been slapped in the mouth. Great, great stuff.

I would have felt bad for Quinn except that he’s going to get paid no matter what, and Mad Dog says the guy will probably be a star in the NFL. So now I think I’ll root against him, just for the hell of it.

3) A man by the name of Kirk Radomski has said he will point fingers and tattle on a handful of New York Mets players that he allegedly sold steroids to between 1995 and 2005. This guy worked for the Mets from ‘85 to ‘95, and upon being let go by the organization, he began to sell performance enhancing drugs to players on the team. Now, after making his living (probably a nice one, he was paying his mortgage with the money) pushing pills for players in the big leagues, he has decided that it is now more profitable to sabotage these very same players and thereby avoid any sort of negative legal repercussions.

Say what you will about global warming, capitalism or even the occult; this is the stuff that really makes me wonder what the world is coming to. A grown man who had the nerve to schmooze with these players, build relationships, do something scandalous and illegal with them, then turn around and throw those same players directly under the bus.

I’m stuck thinking that this guy represents the epitome of societal decline. If you’re going to be a criminal, if you have no qualms about selling drugs or killing people or whatever - at least hold to some set of morals or values - whatever they are, just have some. Like in the Godfather, Marlon Brando was a killer and all, but he was kind of a good guy too. He cared about his kids and didn’t cheat on his wife. He dropped little jewels of wisdom on his irresponsible son Sonny about parenting and family and the like. People like Radomski give me the impression that they’d sell their soul if the price was right. Marlon Brando would have slapped him like his name was Jonny Fontaine.

Nonetheless, Baseball insider Steve Phillips, who worked for the Mets during the 90’s said that though he didn’t see anything in the clubhouse, there is probably a Radomski in every MLB city, thus implying that nearly everyone in the show is on the juice.

If this is the case, I’m not certain that I care. I like to watch baseball, but I grew up in Canada, and you could still be very cool if you were not good at baseball. And so I never played. I am far too skinny anyways (I should call Radomski). But I could see how people who love the game and pursue it would be upset that all these people are taking ‘roids. I know I’d be choked if I was trying to make the NHL and everyone was taking drugs to get bigger and stronger, and the point is that you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your health to play a game you love at an elite level.

That being said, a lot of professional athletes do sacrifice their health to play anyways. The NFL is ripe with ex-pro’s who can barely move now, even though they’re only in their 40’s, the NHL has several once promising prospects who were forced to retire due to concussions, and had they kept playing, they’d risk having their brains reduced to mush. Maybe there is a lot on the line as it is.

The fact that we’re willing to sacrifice so much for sports probably says something negative about society, but I fear that getting into that side of things would be far too deep a social commentary for this section. Also, seeing as how I support athletics whole-heartedly and plan on having several sons that play in the NHL, my opinion would come free of charge with an extra helping of heavy bias.

4) Okay, first of all, regarding A-Rod, let me say, holy crap. What has gotten into this guy? I am not a Yankee fan, mostly because they play in the same division as the Blue Jays and also because I’m tired of them, but A-Rod was getting ridiculous. 14 HR’s and 34 RBI’s in a month? Let me do some math here. He’s on pace for 84 HR’s and 204 RBI.

Hey, here’s hoping he gets there. It’s not going to happen (wait until fall - the typical A-Rod joke) but a guy can dream. I wrote a piece at the end of last season which remarked that A-Rod, though not playing supremely, was having a great season nonetheless. Immediately following my defense of him, Rodriguez thanked me by going out and having a horrid post-season. But hey, we’re all about forgiveness around here, so I’m going to give A-Rod my official endorsement.

Who wouldn’t want to see everyone have to eat their words? I mean, all A-Rod did was a throw a few baseballs past the first baseman and strike out a few times. We’ve all been there at one point or another. And you can’t say you wouldn’t take his pay-check. It’s not his fault people were throwing money at him. So here we are; I’m rooting for A-Rod (and Jeter, I love Jeter).

5) The Golden State Warriors knocked off the Dallas Mavericks last night, by 25 points, with alleged MVP Dirk Nowitzki laying an ostrich sized egg in the biggest game of the year. What a waste of a season for the Mavericks. What is the point of winning basically every game (except for 3 regular season games against G-State) if you are going to go out there and believe you can coast through an 8 seed.

Mark Cuban is right - it’s all about match-ups, and while Golden State does match-up well with the Mavs, there is no one in this league that should be able to guard Dirk (maybe KG). He should be a match-up problem for absolutely everyone, and going 2-for-1 million last night should, and will, go down as a choke-show for the centuries. This man cannot be the MVP.

For that matter neither can Kobe. Though I have to say I love the way he plays basketball like he’s mad at the world. His killer instinct is wildly entertaining.

Meanwhile, everyone in the East has been resting up, except for the Nets and Raptors, who are battling to the death for the rights to be swept by any team in the second round. Though I hope it isn’t true, I fear that this year the East is truly irrelevant. This could be the year of the Suns, now that the Mavs are out.

I think Golden State is where everyone wants to be right now. They’re playing well and saying all the right things. Everyone in their locker room is talking about how special this team is and how proud they are to play there; everyone is on board and their talent level has matched their emotion and passion which means no one wants to play them. They could ride this momentum all the way to the Finals, like the Knicks did as an 8th seed a few years ago.

6) Oh, and the NCAA is moving their 3-point line out exactly one foot, to which we say; Whoop-dee-freaking-do. It’s about time.