Draft Wrap

(Editor’s Note: We are ecstatic to present you with an article from Benjamin Golliver, who has vaulted onto the national sports blogging stage with Draft Kevin Durant. I know we’re playing the homer here, and many of you live outside our fair city, in places like Texas and Ohio and Seattle, but we can’t stop thinking about our team.)

For Blazers diehards the past month has been insane, easily making up for the franchise’s past decade of bumbling missteps and general irrelevance. In fact, bitter memories of the Post-Drexler, Pre-Oden days have been quickly swept under the collective rug, way back to the base of the wall next to the stale cheetos and used condoms (rubber up!).

It all started on May 22nd, when the NBA draft lottery’s ping pong ball fell our way like a billion-dollar version of The Price Is Right’s Plinko chip. All of a sudden, Blazers General Manager Kevin Pritchard was faced with the best of all decisions: Showcase Number One (Greg Oden) or Showcase Number Two (Kevin Durant).

The war of words has raged ever since that fateful day, which, if Tom Potter had a savvy Public Relations department, would already be a state holiday. On the pages of The Oregonian, over drinks in watering holes and coffeeshops, over the talk radio airwaves and on tubes and tubes that make the internet; and this wasn’t just me yelling at everyone (and everything) in earshot everywhere I went - although I do apologize to my (former) secretary - this was a legitimate citywide debate.

And what a debate it was. Grown men and women - otherwise sane and productive members of Portland society - spent hours breaking down the workout results of teenage boys, pouring over their interviews like presidential speeches, and attempting to assess their level of devotion to a game which, with any perspective, obviously surpasses the devotion any of us feel toward ANYTHING in our own lives. Over the last month, I debated Oden vs. Durant with: 30+ bloggers, at least 17 bartenders, 8 professional sportswriters, people on 4 continents (if you’re reading this in Antarctica, Australia, or Africa, get at me!), 3 homeless people, both of my parents (who says sports can’t bring us together), and one current Blazer: Darius Miles. Now that’s a good month. My Blackberry has been consistently spitting out SIM card errors and most of my pre-Lottery friends have left my company for greener pastures. Was it worth it?

Absolutely. One month later, Portland sports fans have welcomed their newest Blazer - the odds on choice, Showcase Number One - with open arms. They’ve rallied in multiple places, scooped up season tickets by the bushel and have begun various countdowns - to the free agent signing season, to the Blazers’ summer league, to 2007-2008 opening night, to our first championship since 1977 (maybe still a few years down the line…).

Why are we acting so maniacally? Why not.

This is as good as it gets in our one-horse town: it’s Blazers or bust. We don’t have the Red Sox to carry us through the dog days; we don’t have Tom Brady guiding us through the winter doldrums one 2 minute drill at a time. As great as the Oregon State Beavers have been, I haven’t been to Corvallis since the Carter administration and I wasn’t even born then. For the average Portland sports fan, The Blazers are the only year-round story. The last month of front-page, above the fold coverage has made up for the full decade of forgettable filth - both on the court and off - that often wasn’t “fit to print.”

So, where do we stand today? With a revamped roster, far fewer headaches and material enough to keep the debate raging all summer long. I’m not saying that you should eschew our beautiful waterfalls and coastline, but I also won’t blame you if you read up on the intricacies of the NBA collective bargaining agreement; if you spend all night dreaming up trade scenarios; if you erect a life-size Kevin Pritchard statue out of Macaroni; or if you (humor me) spend the next 2 minutes of your life reading the following breakdown of our draft-day acquisitions.

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Via Draft

Greg Oden: Not my first choice, but clearly the result of a meticulous selection process. Pritchard has earned his stripes so I’ll stand by his pick. Oden is a goofball - but he’s a very, very big goofball who will redirect opponent’s shots straight into the Brandon Roy fast lane.

Rudy Fernandez: Rumored trade bait to Memphis for Mike Miller. Has a difficult contract with his current team in Spain; doubtful that he will ever enjoy paella with Sergio Rodriguez at Andina.

Josh McRoberts: Considered a draft day steal by some but this guy sucks. Dude is weak sauce. Don’t even dip an egg roll with this guy, just lame.

Taurean Green: The least heralded of the two-time champ “Gator Boys” will struggle to make the Blazers roster as he also struggles with continued face acne. Nobody is perfect.

Petteri Koponen: Hails from the distinguished line of Finnish point guards that includes……………Whatever. At least his last name alternates vowels and consonants. How many of you have that on your resume? Actually, Greg Oden does. Maybe we can hope for a karmic, linguistic, transatlantic connection between the two.

Via Trade

Steve Francis: Cheaper to buy out of his contract than Zach Randolph. Will (hopefully) never don a Blazers uniform. Let us never speak of him again.

Channing Frye: Young, athletic, and maybe a little weak in the pants. Hey, Przybilla put up 2 points a game last year, you’re complaining?

James Jones: God forbid we enter another “Jailblazers era,” but with a super ambiguous name like this, there’s a good chance nobody will double-take if he ends up in the police blotter. Come to think of it, maybe we should ask Darius Miles to chance his name to John Doe…

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So, a final analysis reveals a little bit in the “yes” column, a little bit in the “no” column. Remember: even the best showcases, the ones with the NEW CAR, always include an ugly armoire or two.

Benjamin Golliver is the writer of the soon-to-be defunct DraftKevinDurant blog.
Email him your draft reflections and Blazers memories at draftkevindurant@gmail.com