Hockey Is King

The NHL playoffs are here, so prepare yourself for dull media coverage and total public ignorance. Besides the small fanatical niche of loyal fans, most people will be watching a repetitious NBA match (lay-ups and slam-dunks eventually all look the same) instead of a bloody, fast, and low-scoring hockey game that has weird rules and too much brutality.

The average sports enthusiast has a perception of the NHL that consists of; the Stanley Cup, Barry Melrose, Barry’s mullet, Marty Mcsorley, Wayne Gretzky, ‘The Miracle On Ice’, and the Detroit Red Wings. If only people knew what they were missing.

Our society is obsessed with mass media, and thus hockey in America continues to struggle. The NHL is better experienced in person, making matters worse for those attempting to engage by watching on television. Football and basketball are best viewed on the screen, where action can be watched utilizing various camera angles and replays.
Contrarily, hockey and baseball need to be witnessed from the bleachers; the rhythm, flow, and atmosphere is lost when transferred onto a monitor.

Yes, the NHL lock-out was a self-inflicted attempt at obliteration, but other factors have helped kill its popularity. Fox implemented the infamous “glow-puck”, ESPN refused to show fights, and Versus - who finally perfected the art of promoting the sport - has too small of a market to make any positive impact.

In my home state of Minnesota, hockey is king. The Minnesota Wild have sold out every home game since their inception into the NHL. The University of Minnesota’s program - the most prestigious of the state’s five division one collegiate hockey teams - is largely responsible for our nation’s 1960 gold medal and the 1980 ‘Miracle On Ice’. Roller-hockey, mini-hockey, board-hockey, street-hockey, air-hockey, bubble-hockey, foot-hockey and a dozen other adapted forms of the sport are in large supply year-round.

While I was doing a college internship in Alabama, I made the mistake of boldly declaring hockey’s supremacy over football. Pandora’s Box was opened. My southern friends were literally speechless; it was the quiet before the storm. Sacrilege! Rumors of my heresy traveled faster than Dale Earnhardt in the ‘98 Daytona 500. I was doomed, but I held my ground by stating “facts”.

Which is more difficult: Catching a Peyton Manning pass, or stopping a Brett Hull slap shot? Getting blindsided by a cornerback running at full speed, or by a defenseman skating at full speed? Running hard for 7 seconds, or skating hard for 45 seconds? Scoring a touchdown, or scoring a goal? It’s obviously much more difficult for an NHL player to intentionally deflect a puck (measuring 3 inches in diameter) traveling through traffic at speeds near 100 mph into a fiercely protected net, than it is to avoid being tackled by a 300 pound defensive lineman, agile though he may be.

The predictable counter-arguments are that football players are stronger, bigger, etc. etc. etc, but these are simply subjective declarations that are emotionally based rather than statistically supported. My intellectual debate with the Alabamans quickly devolved into a war of words. I faced a losing battle.

Statistics, illustrations, and hypothetical comparisons were passionately thrown up for debate. While scouring the internet for data that would reinforce my supposition that hockey was harder than other sports, I came across an ESPN Page 2 article entitled Boxing’s Knockout Punch (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/sportSkills). It was a goldmine of irrefutable evidence.

The article’s purpose was to scientifically discover which sports required the most athleticism. Tests were performed relating to the categories of endurance, strength, power, speed, agility, flexibility, nerve, durability, hand-eye coordination, and analytic-aptitude. According to the column, the research was done by, “a group made up of sports scientists from the United States Olympic Committee, of academicians who study the science of muscles and movement, of a star two-sport athlete, and of journalists who spend their professional lives watching athletes succeed and fail.”

The rankings are as follows: 1) Boxing 2) Hockey 3) Football 4) Basketball. The list classifies sixty various activities, pastimes, and sports. The only sport more difficult than hockey is boxing, but like the old adage says, “I once went to a fight and a hockey game broke out”. Let’s be honest, hockey can sometimes become boxing.

What do the results imply? Frankly, hockey is king. Hockey is tough mentally, physically, and emotionally. Not just anyone can put on a pair of skates and perform the triple-deke. It takes years of training and practice. Compared to other sports, the required skills and equipment are abnormally specialized. Imagine yourself playing basketball, soccer, football, and baseball with your friends. Anyone can go to a local park and participate in these activities, and even passers-by can easily assimilate themselves into the action if a player is needed.

But with hockey there is a difference It demands years of practice and patience. It can be argued that hockey is a regional sport requiring a specific climate, but even within hockey-obsessed communities the ratio of fans to players dramatically favors the fans. Take myself as an example, I love the sport, yet I can’t skate. Most of my friends and family would claim hockey as their favorite sport, yet hardly any of us actually play the game. Why? Because skating is hard on the ankles, causes searing blisters, results in painful falls, and is often just plain embarrassing. Besides, shooting a free-throw is much easier to learn and a lot less stressful.

Hockey fans rejoice! Take pride in your passion for profanity and violence and flannel shirts. Who cares if the NHL playoff ratings tank again this year?! The satisfaction comes in knowing that hockey players are the best athletes of any major sport, and we’ll drop the gloves if anyone suggests otherwise.

Playoff Predictions (and general musings)
Jon Adams

I have to say I was glad to see Stephen’s passion for hockey. Personally, I think hockey would have greater success in America if people knew how hard it was to play. I think there is an appreciation most people can feel when they see Ryan Howard hit 50 or so homeruns, because most of us have tried to hit homeruns and we can’t (except for that time I took my aluminum bat to the kids softball park. 220 down the line. I was a monster).

There should be a clinic in every American NHL city where people can go out there for a skills exhibition with some NHL players. Force some average joes to handle a puck while skating, make accurate passes, shoot on a goalie etc.

Here’s why it would work. If you met me, and saw me play hockey, you’d think I’m really good. I skate fast, I have a hard shot, and I scored 30 goals in 25 games in my school’s league this year. I know, you’re impressed.

Thing is, I’m not impressed. Because I once had the privlege of playing shinny hockey (basically pick-up) with a fellow named Darryl Bootland. Darryl, an 8th round pick of the Colorado Avalanche in 2000, has spent the bulk of his professional career in the American Hockey League, where he once amassed 390 penalty minutes in one season. He also scored 27 goals that year, the most by far he has scored as a professional. In 32 career NHL games, Darryl has one goal and two assists. 3 points.

And he was INCREDIBLE. I can’t express to you how much better he was than every person there. Better than anyone I’ve ever played with. People who, like myself, have been playing hockey their entire lives, and Darryl was heads and shoulders above all of us. And not only can he not break into the NHL, his job in the minors is to chuck the knuckles to earn his dough.

The guys in the NHL really are unbelievably talented, but it takes tackling that skill set to realize just how talented they really are.

Anyways. The NHL playoffs are the best time of year, almost like all the major holidays and celebrations rolled into one for me, though lacking the requisite spiritual engagement. Here’s how I see the 2nd round shaking down.

PENGUINS 2 vs RANGERS 0

If you haven’t seen Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin play hockey yet, than I don’t know what to say to you. The Penguins are young, hungry and impressively disciplined, thanks to 41-year-old warrior Gary Roberts and Crosby’s natural leadership. The Pens have yet to lose in the post-season, and if goalie Marc-Andre Fleury can stay true to form, the Pens have the edge over the New York Rangers. The only X-Factor? Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist is playing stellar hockey this year, and has thrice been nominated for the Vezina Trophy (best goalie). Fleury doesn’t have to outshine Lundqvist, he just can’t get dominated by him. Pens in 6 games.

CANADIENS 1 vs FLYERS 1

I’m torn here. Montreal has by far the best crowds in the NHL, and their young phenom goalie Carey Price is something to behold. However Philly plays that crash-and-bang style I’ve come to love so dearly over the years. Also, the Habs had the seasons top power play, and the Flyers finished second in that department. Whoever wins the battle of special teams will likely win the series. For that reason, I’ve got to go with my Canadian roots, and the ever-dangerous Alex Kovalev, and pick Montreal. Canadiens in 7.

RED WINGS 2 vs AVALANCHE 0

Due to the NHL’s divisional schedule Detroit plays 32 games a year against marginal competition, so it’s no surprise to anyone that they won the President’s Trophy with the league’s best record. What is surprising is that they have looked extremely sharp in the first two games against Colorado despite looking lackadaiscal against the Nashville Predators in the first round. The Avs need Forsberg back, and now, and they need Jose Theodore to steal the next two games if they have a hope. Could be too little, too late. Red Wings in 5.

STARS 1 vs SHARKS 1

Two hungry teams, two great goaltenders and two young defence cores. Two great power-plays, to stingy teams to play against and lots of stars with something to prove. I’m really pulling for the Sharks, as Joe Thornton continues to strive to show he has what it takes to carry a team in the playoffs, but the Stars are looking extremely hungry right now and just knocked off the defending champs. This series will likely come down to the goaltending battle of Marty Turco vs Evgeni Nabakov. I think Marty wants it more. Stars in 7.